Saying no can feel uncomfortable, but it is essential for protecting your time and focus. Many people say yes out of guilt, obligation or fear of disappointing others, but always agreeing can lead to burnout and a lack of control over your own priorities. Learning to say no effectively helps you set boundaries, maintain balance, and stay focused on what truly matters.
Saying no isn’t meant to be rude nor should it make you feel like you’re not a “team player.” There’s something truly important about making sure you can say no, whether it’s you prioritising your tasks or being self-aware that your expertise will not fit what's needed. Even skipping out on a meeting that you feel has no impact on your work. What may seem rude to others may be your pathway to being the most efficient employee, manager or assistant that an organisation has.
The people pleaser. We either know one, are one, or are secretly one. You may think that you’re being a ‘team player’ or helping others. But in reality, it can be massively detrimental to your own well-being or even your own work. People-pleasing is a widespread behaviour, often driven by a fear of conflict or a deep-seated need for approval. While it might seem like a harmless habit, the long-term effects can take a toll on mental and emotional well-being.
According to a 2022 YouGov survey, 49% of Americans identify as ‘people-pleasers’. Interestingly, women are more likely to describe themselves this way (56%) compared to men (42%). But even beyond those who explicitly label themselves as such, an overwhelming 93% of people report engaging in at least one people-pleasing behaviour on a regular basis.
People-pleasing behaviours can present themselves in many ways, but the most commonly reported behaviors include:
So how do we mitigate these behaviours to not conform to what others ask of us if we don’t want to? Keep reading (Or say no, that's the whole point of our blog, but we’d like you to keep going....)
Push your shoulders out. Don’t give any room for them to change your mind. The “Ummmmmm, Ahhhhhhh maybe?” won’t do it, at that point you may as well say yes to what you’re being asked of. Avoid vague responses that leave room for negotiation. A firm but polite no makes it clear that you cannot commit. Yes, you may come across to some people as rude, but in reality, that’s because they themselves are also people-pleasers and can’t compute that you had the AUDACITY to prioritise yourself. But those that aren’t people-pleasers will understand that you cannot commit to anything else and not judge, but more likely actually respect you for being upfront and honest. So how can you best directly say no with no wriggle room?
Here are some ways to say no directly:
When you're under pressure, making the right decision can feel impossible. The urgency of the moment, external expectations, and fear of disappointing others can lead you to agree to things you later regret. Whether it is a job offer, a financial commitment, or a legal agreement, rushing into a decision without full consideration can have lasting consequences. When faced with pressure, staying level-headed and ensuring that you take the time to assess your options is essential.
A prime example of this is the world of contract agreements, where high pressure sales tactics have led individuals and businesses into devastating situations. Studies by the UK’s Competition and Markets Authority (CMA) reveal that many consumers and small businesses enter unfavourable contracts due to aggressive sales strategies. A significant number of these businesses then struggling with financial and legal repercussions. One case involved thousands of small businesses locked into expensive energy contracts due to misleading sales practices. Many felt pressured into signing on the spot, only to realise later that the terms were heavily skewed against them, leaving them with financial burdens they could not escape.
Similarly, research by the Financial Conduct Authority (FCA) highlights that pressure selling in financial services leads to poor decision making, with people committing to deals they do not fully understand. Whether it is a long term loan, a high interest credit agreement, or an unfavourable insurance policy, making a rushed decision can lead to stress, regret, and financial strain.
When making any significant commitment, take a step back. If you are being pressured into making a quick decision, ask yourself, “do I fully understand the implications? Have I had enough time to consider alternative options?” The key to avoiding regret is allowing yourself the space to think. Saying no, asking for time, or seeking independent advice does not make you difficult, it makes you responsible. Decisions made under pressure are rarely the best ones, and standing firm can be the difference between security and regret.
Saying no is not about being difficult, it is about making thoughtful, informed decisions. Pressure and urgency can cloud judgment, leading to commitments that may not be in your best interest. Taking a step back, assessing the situation, and ensuring you are confident in your choices is the best way to avoid regret. Protecting your time and priorities is not selfish, it is necessary. The more you stand firm in your decisions, the more control you will have over your own path. Remember, a rushed yes today can lead to a regretful no tomorrow. Choose wisely.